Why the U.S. Decision on Gay Marriage Affects Us All


Today is a historic day for everyone … and not just those of us who are gay. It’s for all of us who ever felt like we didn’t fit in.

The U.S. Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage across the country is a sea change that reflects a new direction for America. So it is a decision that affects us all.

In every corner of this world there are people who feel like they don’t fit in – perhaps because of race, or religion, or disability. Or maybe just because they are a little louder, or a little wilder, or a little more creative than others. I know because I was that kid throughout my childhood — the one who ate lunch alone and was seldom picked for Kickball. I decided early on that something was wrong with me. Because I didn’t fit in, I thought I was defective.

Yet, such separation is just an illusion. We, as a species, belong together in one diverse but still unified pack.

So today in America, we got the right to merge together just a bit more into this beautiful mosaic. Naturally, as a lesbian, I’m thrilled, especially for my many LGBT sisters and brothers who’ve had to hide their true identity.

Hiding who you are, gay, straight or otherwise, is never right. I know because I did this for nearly 30 years in my marriage to a man. I presented myself as a straight mom and wife because it simply didn’t feel safe to be who I truly am.

The entire time I kept a lid on my true desires, I hated the idea that I was actually, secretly gay. It was just one more affirmation of my own ‘apartness’. My lesbianism felt dangerous and strange … and yet, at the same time it felt undeniably real.

However, life always flows towards the truth. So the day came when I couldn’t keep on pretending. I changed my life and came out.

Thank you, U.S. Supreme Court, for voting to uphold the dignity of those of us who are just a little bit different. The weird kid in the corner is not only grateful … she is overcome with joy and relief.

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