I used to be an expert.
Not too long ago, I regarded myself as someone who could solve anyone’s business-building problems on the Net. I just ‘knew’ what to do.
In my own tiny mind, I rocked.
Then Teal died, my mother died, this happened and that happened and everything got stripped bare … including my desire to stand up as a so-called expert in the world.
What is clear to me now is that telling the world I’m an expert is simply false. Perhaps I know more about a few things than some others … but who cares? Aren’t we all peers in this game of life?
Why can’t I meet you just as an equal and a friend?
For the stinging truth is that in our industry, there has become on over-class of ‘experts’ and an under-class of perennial students who must learn, learn, learn to one day become ‘experts’ themselves. Because isn’t that the goal?
Take caution, my friends. Because what we are learning here isn’t brain science and does not require endless hours of study. Nor does it demand an endless panel of experts upon experts telling us how it is done.
What this business does demand is confidence, faith and perseverance. It’s just like Woody Allen famously said. ‘Eighty per cent of success is showing up.”
So I believe what is really needed here is community. Fair and equal support and mentorship with those who have walked the road ahead of you and are willing to give you the time of day.
Instead of experts, what we need is a friend to learn from.
We need someone to talk to as we find our way ahead — that’s what I find I need at this time in my life. I was reminded of that last weekend when I attended a conference up in Canada among many old and dear friends in this business. Being with these people was like manna for my soul.
These friends want nothing from me – and expect nothing from me, and I need nothing from them. But magically we meet in the middle and inspire each other and so give to each other endlessly.
And that is how this wants to be; the simple, generous sharing of hearts wide open.
So I have been looking hard at alternatives to the broken training system that is dominating the coaching space right now. Because as long as there is an over-class and an under-class nobody wins. The under-class simply keeps having their self-doubt underscored, and so they sign up for more and more and more training.
And the over-class has to keep continually reinventing their own personal wheel, until they eventually burn out from overwork and a lack of fresh inspiration.
There is a clinging to the old models that have always ‘worked’ instead of a fresh embrace of the new. And that old model is built on endless repetition, an a reliance on formula. We must sell our community into our work again and again to stay viable.
But like a good therapist, we actually need to serve our clients and then set them free. And so the client can stand on her own two legs and find her path, and so become empowered to step into full service.
There is nothing to be afraid of, friends. Nothing at all. Because in each moment there is a little gem of inspiration waiting to be uncovered by you. Your guidance will show you the way, again and again. That’s how you find the confidence you need to believe in yourself, your work, and your path.
I will report back here as I find the place I feel I can best serve. But one thing I know for sure … I won’t be standing anywhere but beside you.
I don’t want to be an expert any more. I can’t, really. Because now I understand the information and experience I share doesn’t belong to me – nor does it make me any better or worse than anyone else.
And so I am no longer an expert, but just a slightly battle-worn fellow traveler. I am happy to sit for a while, exchange thoughts, enjoying a cup of virtual tea.
How about you?